Cry Heart, But Never Break
5 months.
Only need this short time, to make me this heartbreak.
It struck me last night, but i just realize what i really feel in this morning. What really struck me is, not the bad news about our company. But the fact that i will separate with him.
Actually i already aware about it when he told me the news last afternoon. Just like someone knocking on my point of conciousness. Just like someone whispering in my head "you will separate with him" and there i am, staring at his lips talking about our grieve for company situation, while my real heartache is will losing him.
Actually i know, from exact time when i realize that i fall for him, i will say goodbye anyway. But i dont expected that the time will come THIS fast. My heart doesnt ready yet, or maybe will never ready.
I just cant imagine my day without him in surrounding me. Although he has tight schedule, and so do i. But at least i can hear his voice in the morning, or just saying goodbye in the afternoon. Or in the other time i must held my jealous heart when he flirt with other girls. Not flirt literally, though. Him is being...him. Just try to blend and break the ice between teamwork.
Or maybe not, maybe he just that pervert and calling every girl and woman with his favorite one, like babe, darling or whatever he like. Haha. Dunno.
Maybe i fall for him because of that. Or maybe from the beginning of time we've met then i realize the my feel for him. Then i realize i remembering every smile of him, just like that.
5 month. And i 'feel' that i had special moments with him. When we discussing project, just the two of us in his car and talk about everything, literally everything! You can say we talk about our sex life, in education meaning! LOL
And there a moment when everything still going fine, project and discuss and touching and flirting. My cheeks, nose, arm. Every place his touch imprint so deep in my memory.
Also moment when just two of us doing concall with partner and i can stare as much as i want into his hand holding mine. And please just clear your mind! XD We holding hand just because we holding phone together, but i exploit that moment to make my favourite analyze, hand and arm. His is perfect, nail is clean and shiny, looks strong and solid.
And with that moments i know that he not that pervert, he just ordinary family man with newly born daughter and try to served the best for his family. If he become that pervert, like i told you before, maybe his way to create teamwork. Or maybe he just can split personality in office.
With all the moment i just cant hold my sadness and every tears i hold finally out now.
I really do fall for him but JUST that.
Sooner or later i will separate with him anyway. And i must satisfied only dreaming and fantasize about him.
With 'How can i not love you" 'cry' "if youre not the one' and 'the one that got away' finally i say goodbye to you D.
Because life must go on. Yes maybe life can say anything, but i must react real now. Though i'm sure i will pass this bad situation like before, but i must start now so i can get the result just in time.
I just cry, heart. But promise, I will never break :)
xoxo
D.
Only need this short time, to make me this heartbreak.
It struck me last night, but i just realize what i really feel in this morning. What really struck me is, not the bad news about our company. But the fact that i will separate with him.
Actually i already aware about it when he told me the news last afternoon. Just like someone knocking on my point of conciousness. Just like someone whispering in my head "you will separate with him" and there i am, staring at his lips talking about our grieve for company situation, while my real heartache is will losing him.
Actually i know, from exact time when i realize that i fall for him, i will say goodbye anyway. But i dont expected that the time will come THIS fast. My heart doesnt ready yet, or maybe will never ready.
I just cant imagine my day without him in surrounding me. Although he has tight schedule, and so do i. But at least i can hear his voice in the morning, or just saying goodbye in the afternoon. Or in the other time i must held my jealous heart when he flirt with other girls. Not flirt literally, though. Him is being...him. Just try to blend and break the ice between teamwork.
Or maybe not, maybe he just that pervert and calling every girl and woman with his favorite one, like babe, darling or whatever he like. Haha. Dunno.
Maybe i fall for him because of that. Or maybe from the beginning of time we've met then i realize the my feel for him. Then i realize i remembering every smile of him, just like that.
5 month. And i 'feel' that i had special moments with him. When we discussing project, just the two of us in his car and talk about everything, literally everything! You can say we talk about our sex life, in education meaning! LOL
And there a moment when everything still going fine, project and discuss and touching and flirting. My cheeks, nose, arm. Every place his touch imprint so deep in my memory.
Also moment when just two of us doing concall with partner and i can stare as much as i want into his hand holding mine. And please just clear your mind! XD We holding hand just because we holding phone together, but i exploit that moment to make my favourite analyze, hand and arm. His is perfect, nail is clean and shiny, looks strong and solid.
And with that moments i know that he not that pervert, he just ordinary family man with newly born daughter and try to served the best for his family. If he become that pervert, like i told you before, maybe his way to create teamwork. Or maybe he just can split personality in office.
With all the moment i just cant hold my sadness and every tears i hold finally out now.
I really do fall for him but JUST that.
Sooner or later i will separate with him anyway. And i must satisfied only dreaming and fantasize about him.
With 'How can i not love you" 'cry' "if youre not the one' and 'the one that got away' finally i say goodbye to you D.
Because life must go on. Yes maybe life can say anything, but i must react real now. Though i'm sure i will pass this bad situation like before, but i must start now so i can get the result just in time.
I just cry, heart. But promise, I will never break :)
xoxo
D.
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